shayad...

itne shor mein bhi sab soona sa lag raha hai aaj kal
dil ki awaz gum ho gayi hai shayad..
hazaro khwahisho se bhara rehta tha jo mann humesha
khalipan se dosti kar li hai usne shayad...

ankhon mein nami bhi nahi dikhti ab toh
ro kar thak gayi hain shayad
khuli rehke bhi jo sapne dekha karti thi
band hone ko tarasti hain wo shayad...

chehre ki muskaan halaat-e-bayan karti thi
dukhi rehne se sakht parhez tha shayad
gaalon mein jo bhanvar parha karte the
ansuon ke samandar mein kho gaye hain shayad...

zindagi se koi shikva na kiya tha maine aaj tak
uske fazal ka adab kiya ho shayad
par ab sadke mein bhi maut ki dua nikalti hai,,
jeene se mann uub gaya ho shayad...

I found ME .

My last few mornings have not been very pleasant . I woke up with a backache, swollen eyes and a cranky state of mind. I get out of bed unwillingly and taking few mins to get out of the lazy zero thoughts phase of early morning. All because my nights have stretched to long wondering silent ones, lost in conclusions and analysing the current situations and feelings.. despite of having a busy and hectic routine during the day, I spend most of the hours at night reading books and journals, or may be writing short stories just to keep myself away from thinking. Hence my sleep has lost its track from the usual early hours to the wee hours of night. I have no complaints, but the entire process is making me dull and lazy, and numb to an extent. The monotonous beat of daily chores, and a fixed schedule has made my life a little less exciting and entertaining. I have not inhaled fresh early morning air of relief and peace, i have not dreamt and smiled lately. The reasons are not much of a concern to me right now, because whatsoever may be, i still have to be strong and make each moment of my life worth living. Irrespective of the fact that how tensed or upset i may be.
So today, i put on my dancing shoes and decided to pursue my long lost passions and take a dip in the goodness of freedom . The freedom to move every inch of your body your way, freedom to dance to your favourite music according to your will.. DANCE is one soulful methods to vent out your worries and pains. The speed with which you move your feet and hands, can make you feel that you have an impeccable sense of balance. The more energy you put into dancing, the less burdened and chained you feel with life.
your face automatically starts expressing your inner tranquillity and relief. Your smile tells it to you that you’ve conquered the sadness inside you and you can do anything to survive in this world. The music, and every beat to which you move your mortal frame takes you far away from the madding crowd and leaves you alone in your own world of shameless love . you dance like no one’s watching, dance dance and dance... till the time you almost faint and your heart starts beating faster than usual. You lie down on the floor almost unconscious and starts breathing heavily, the heat that is released from your body makes you feel light, lighter than before. The sweat that drips from your forehead and goes down to your neck, that feel is the result of your effort. An effort made by you, to break the chains of a routine. To step out of the memories. To leave behind every thought that made you sad, and lazy and upset. That pain in your feet is unbearable, but  it doesn’t hurt as much as it hurt when you had a heart full of complaints and rejections.

I felt the same today, i danced my way out of the mess. I found my way of attaining peace . my body still aches, my brain is still tired, but tomorrow morning i won’t wake up cranky and half sleepy. I’ll wake up with a new confidence, less burden and a life full of things for myself only .
Good Night J

Waqt ....

Na jaane kyun ye waqt apni raftaar se chalta hai ?

Na rukta hai, na sochta hai, bas zindagi ko bhagaata hai

Aaj dil hai ye waqt yahin ruk jaaye..yahin tham jaaye thehar jaaye

Apni chaal chorh mere kehne se chal parhe..

Kabhi aage na barhe bas yahin zingadi basar kar jaaye…

Kyun ugta hai sooraj jab har sham ye dhalta hai…

Aur har lamha yahi savaal dil mein khalta hai..

Na jaane kyun ye waqt apni raftaar se chalta hai ?

Being Important

I wonder how some people become so important in our lives. Or is it that we make them important for us? We give them all the rights equal to us. We rely on them. Give them the liberty to scold us on our mistakes. Make them the reason for our smiles. And eventually they become the reason for our crying as well. Apart from all the good things that we get from them we even give them the ability to hurt us. Its like creating a monster out of an angel that we saw. Often we think that limitising ourselves would create barriers in our comfort levels. But we fail to analyse the pros and cons of the after effects of the so called ‘freedom’ given to our partners. Generally we get drifted towards the lovey-dovey nature of ours and get so sugar coated for others. And this is when they act like ants and eat us inside out. Being sugary is our weakness, and people feed on them. At times it gets really important to stick to your norms and notions. To stand by your self respect and put your mindset forward. Adjustment is an option, toleration is a crime, and co-operation is a blessing. Its never rude to let others know what u like and dislike, it’ll only make them more aware of you and hence co-ordinate with you smoothly. Relations succeed when the pace is equal, and they fail when there’s a fight to be ahead of each other. Friends and partners, have their own importance in life. But to keep yourself at the bottom of your list will not prove your love for them, but rather make them ignore you as well. Just like you do to yourself. Remember that every human has the right to freedom of ‘life’.

I ME MYSELF AND OTHERS

Wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is say myself ‘’I love you megha’’. Must be crazy for people who think these golden words are just meant for your loved ones. I love myself. And so does all of us, somewhere in the deepest corner of your heart, you have this selfish little devil that makes you think about yourself first. Don’t hide it, let it be free. Its not negative to be selfish. But its wrong to be a shelled fish. Whatever we do in life, from basic necessities to getting out in the world and facing it. We do it for our welfare.. for our needs..being selfless is humane. But not fruitful. Humanity comes with generosity. Be generous to your own self, only then you’ll do justice to the world. Pamper yourself. Nurture yourself. Be a mother to yourself. And bring yourself up. Talk to your own soul. Analyse your problems yourself. Consider what are you good at and make the most of it. You live..you die..your age increases every year.and finally its you who’ll put an end to all this. Its about your choices, your life. Smile and the world wont smile with you. They’ll ask you, quite a surprise, till yesterday you looked blue? ;) take pride in loving yourself. Its not being selfish its not mean. Its just about loving the right person in your life. And doing justice to this pure feeling! J

BE YOURSELF

…Hmm.. been a hiatus of 3 long years that I logged in my blog and tried writing something. Feels good to be back to my good ol’ listener friend. I met this blog during my days of struggle and loneliness.. the days when I spent lying down in solitude and getting tensed about my choice of career. This was the time when I became friends with words and they didn’t leave my side since then. J true that I didn’t write since I entered a different phase of life, that which had a lot of energy and brain sucking situations. Yet I made sure I stay in touch with my friend. .in touch with ‘’me’’.The most hideous crime that a person does, knowingly or unknowingly is to forget himself.. or rather lose itself to the worldly beliefs and trends. To hold yourself back to what you call your ‘’roots’’ is hard but its harder to get a hold of yourself as ‘’you’’.. as an individual.. as your own soul and mindset. Many a times we see the world changing around us. And hence we change accordingly. Our perceptions change. Taste the bitter and we miss the sweetness of life. Life is as we take it. As we lead it. We lead it with pride, and we are proud to live. We lead it as a duty, and it’s a burden for us. We live it as a dream, and it’s a fantasy for us. We live it by looking at others..then its nothing for us..its not our life anymore then. Change is good. But a change in your thoughts,your aspirations, YOUR dreams will lead you nowhere. But living your own life as someone else. Someone whom you just like. But not ‘’know’’ is not a life you chose to live, but rather made it for yourself.. Develop. Improve. Get inspired and NOT INFLUENCED.

prayer..

emotionless i stand,

feelingless i feel

facing the path ahead

i wait for my wounds to heal

for the courage that i have lost

and the strength that i need

i pray you my lord

i pray to thee

to bless your child

to bless me

with a life..